i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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