Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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