you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
