i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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