i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
