i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize