i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
