lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
