why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
