there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
