i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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