I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
