never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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