Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
