What a fucking waste of an outfit
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
