nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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