her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
