Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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