There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
