i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
