you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
