thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
