i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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