walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
