"it" just moved
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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