someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
they call him Oral-B. enough said
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize