I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
