Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
