bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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