You can't motorboat a personality
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
