everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think my moral compass just broke
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
