THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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