If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
did i walk over a car last night?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
