I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's no shave November. This is our time.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
