He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
