Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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