Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
