Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
