And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
