He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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