I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
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