Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
