Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
