So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
my liver is dry heaving
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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