a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Alive.
So much puke
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
