GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
