i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
