My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
