The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize