I got chris browned last night
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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