oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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