It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
