omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
