Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
