Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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