I can tuck mytits in my pants
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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