I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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