just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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