I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
