my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
