Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
