found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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