My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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