i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
