that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
