I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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