Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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