Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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