I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
