why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
