i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
