You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
