Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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