it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
