i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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