just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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