So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
